False Security

What I find interesting is over a year ago I was fooled. I was living beneath what I knew was right. I knew I was saved as a child, but I was living like I was totally lost, which I can see I was totally fooled. It is not attractive to go into my ways at that time. I will not bring glory to the enemy. I was just self centered and living for my own desires, yet I was always mindful of my children and family.

The amazing thing is, everything went smooth. Most drama was short lived. Things always turned out for us. I did know how to pray, and I did even though I knew I was not were I should be. I just fooled myself into believing that I by nature was born a sinner so therefore I was expected to sin. I had convinced myself that it was okay because it was the flesh not my true self and I was covered by the blood of Jesus.

We do have an advocate with the Father if we sin. We can ask for forgiveness, but we can overcome and live victorious and be free from bondage. Oh how the enemy can convince Christians to fall backwards instead of being conquerors in Christ.

Even Christians in churches today can be fooled. Some become comfortable in their places in the church. They have many friends and are praised for their works, yet may not have really examined themselves. Things must be alright, because I get praise for how I am doing. I don't know about you, but I find it frightening to be too comfortable. I have been too comfortable and also to the other extreme of feeling really insecure of my intents and is my heart really right. I hope to find a happy medium between the two, but I would think I am better off with the latter.

Since I have rededicated my life to Jesus, so much has happened. I am full of his peace and joy. Joy not meaning dancing throughout the day, although I have also done that. Tonight I read the Book of Job. It is a little hard to understand. I did get that Job was righteous and having bad things happen to you does not mean you have sinned, but I do believe sometimes that may be the case accept Job was righteous and God was proud of him. God let the enemy come against Job and God knew Job would in the end still love him and want to please him.

I am now going through the fire. My faith is being tested. It sometimes feel that everything is falling down around me, yet I still pray and talk to my Lord. I still feel close to him and know I can trust him no matter what. I have not been tested to even 1% of what Job has been tested and I have concerns of holding on and pleasing God. I am also praying to not be tested any more than he see's fit. I really want the happy go lucky days back. When one is foolish and blind they do not see the destruction ahead, so all is well one says in his heart. "That was me." Maybe the happy go lucky days are not what I need.

I do believe the mountain tops will come again in my Christian walk. They came on fast and left a little too soon. Then came the hard trials. It would be wrong to expect just the best all the time. God is Good and a Loving God. He is my Father and he is taking care of my family and me. I know his grace is sufficient and I will come out of the fire smelling like a rose and my family will  shine with the love of God.

Job had to contend with those who claimed he must have sinned because of his sorrows. I know sometimes we cause our own problems by not obeying God or purposely doing evil, but Job had not sinned.

As I read Job I thought I am closer to God than I ever remember being. I feel I know him better than I have ever known him, yet I do realize he is so great I can not comprehend all of him. I have examined my heart and feel like he is pleased with me, but I can not make all my trials go away.  I just hope to be one of integrity through them as Job was.